Cheap Date

A Magpie Tale

 

The shaking stopped.  Kelly opened her eyes, one at a time.  She unwrapped her right arm from around her own shoulders, but left the left cradling her belly.  It didn't feel so well.  Tyler opened the door, and pale light seeped into the cramped chamber.

"Here we are," he announced.  "Welcome to Ancient Egypt!"

Kelly stood, hoping her dizziness would subside soon.  She'd thought it was a joke when Tyler offered to take her for a ride in his time machine.  But something had definitely happened after he spun those dials and lifted the lever.  It didn't look like Tyler's garage out there.  She stepped through the door.

A pyramid occupied an otherwise empty landscape.  "Why is it so . . . green?"

"That's how you know these are Ancient times," Tyler explained.  "You know, before the world was even black and white, it was black and green."

"Sure."

Tyler shrugged.  "Why not?  Let's go check out the pyramid."  He took Kelly's hand and led her forward.

As they approached, Kelly could see some markings on the base of the pyramid.  "Are those hieroglyphics?  Wait--no, they're letters.  'MDCCLXXVI.'  What could that mean?"

Tyler glanced at the letters.  "They're Roman numerals.  Um, 1776."  He looked upward again.

"1776?  That was a while ago, but I wouldn't call it Ancient."

"1776 BC?"

"Yeah, right."  Kelly pulled her hand out of his, and folded her arms.  "What is this really?"  A shadow fell over her.  Kelly looked up.  "Giant eagle!" she yelped.

Tyler put his arm around her.  "Don't worry.  His beak is full."  He pointed to the bird as it flew away.  Kelly relaxed a bit.  "Come on," Tyler urged, "let's climb it."  He led her to some smaller steps on the side of the pyramid.

Kelly looked up.  "Whoa.  The pyramid has a big eye at the top.  That's kind of creepy.  I don't think we should climb something that's looking at us."

Tyler had already climbed several steps.  "It's all right."

"How do you know?"

"Look up there."  Words appeared in the sky.

"Okay, Mr. Roman Scholar.  What do they say?"

"Annuit cœptis.  It means 'He approves.'  Come on!"

Kelly took two steps, and looked up again.  The eye blinked, but the words didn't change.  She followed Tyler to the top.

"Great view, huh?"  Tyler spread his arms wide.

Kelly looked.  The desert extended around her for a short distance.  Beyond a certain circle, she could see a blank space with tall stone blocks upon it.  Straining her eyes, she could see that they also formed letters.  "O-N-E.  One.  One what?"  She turned to look behind her.  The desert seemed to be surrounded by giant webs.  The eagle was soaring far above.  The strange green landscape seemed familiar somehow.

"Tyler, this isn't Ancient Egypt.  This is a one dollar bill."

Tyler shrugged.  "Well, you've never been here before, have you?"

"One dollar!  This is the cheapest date I've ever been on!  You and your 'time machine.'"

"Time is money, right?  And we travelled."

"Hmph."  Kelly folded her arms again, and turned away.

"We can still have some fun on a dollar," Tyler said, touching her shoulder.  "Let's slide down."  He sat on the edge and pushed off down the smooth front of the pyramid. 

Kelly sighed, then sat down and followed.  Air whooshed by as she flew down the side.  She landed in the soft sand. 

Tyler gave her a concerned look.  "Are you okay?"

Kelly tried to look stern, but a giggle betrayed her.  "That was fun.  Race you to the top?"

They slid until they were laughing too hard to climb.  The eagle flew over again, shaking a branch in his claw.  Kelly caught some of the berries that fell from it.  "Olives!  My favorite." 

They talked and slid and ate green olives.  After a while, Kelly felt a chill.  The sky was no darker, but thirteen stars appeared.  "Maybe it's time to go," she said, shivering.

Tyler took her hand and walked her over to the edge of the desert.  Reaching just outside, he picked up a string of pearls and fastened it around Kelly's neck.  Then he wrapped a long ribbon around her like a shawl.  She started to feel warmer.  There were letters on the ribbon, too. 

"E pluribus unum?" she read as they walked back toward the time machine.

"Something like 'and they twain shall be one,' I think."  He bent down on one knee.  "Shall we make it legal?" 

A tear came to Kelly's eye.  "Oh, Tyler," she said, blinking, "I feel so tender."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Be sure to see my interview, over at Checkin' It Twice!

Small Steps

A Magpie Tale

May, 1984
     The class perked up when Mr. Wells pulled down the white screen in the front of the classroom. “Get out your Social Studies notebooks, please. We have arrived at a recent, and most exciting, time in our study of United States history.” He pulled a cart into position, and threaded the film through the projector. “Please take notes on these events, and prepare to ask your parents about their impact on your lives.”
     A slight groan met his enthusiasm for interactive history, but mostly the class was impressed that it was an actual movie, not just another lame filmstrip. The teacher flicked off the lights, and the serious voice of the narrator filled the fifth-grade classroom. I started doodling in the margins of my blank page. Most of the images on the screen were still shots, just like a filmstrip. But then the scene shifted to show John F. Kennedy addressing Congress.
     “I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space . . .”
     I winced. Did we have to dwell on that part of history?
     The narrator droned on about how the Space Race heated up the Cold War, as groups of scientists posed for pictures, rockets launched into desert skies, and animated satellites emitted concentric radio waves into space. Then, the famous fuzzy footage of the Apollo 11 mission.
     “One small step for a man,” Neil Armstrong said, looking down at his boot. “But who made these really small footprints? Hey!” He fell out of the camera’s view, tackled by blurry white forms.
     “American scientists and engineers rose to the challenge of creating new technology to respond to the lessons learned on the moon.” More pictures of scientists, construction workers, politicians, launches. A quick shot of a dark-haired man with glasses, an oxygen tank, and a notebook, interviewing a diminutive pale creature. I glanced around, my face burning. No one else seemed to recognize him. Why would they? I sank down in my chair, anyway.
     “The discovery of intelligent life on the moon ushered in a new era of responsibility for America’s guardians of freedom.” A hulking spacecraft crossed the black sky behind the Stars and Stripes, to be replaced by a heavily decorated admiral and a moon person in formal robes. “Our mission here is to keep these little guys out of the clutches of Communism,” the admiral announced, and patted the small dignitary on the head.
     “With construction of a permanent moon base underway,” the camera scrolled over an architectural drawing, “and expansion of the Naval Space Fleet, the United States of America continues to reach for the stars.” The Big Dipper faded into the blue field of the flag, the credits rolled, and the bell rang for lunch.
     “Remember, I want three paragraphs on how space exploration has affected your life, by Tuesday!” Mr. Wells called out over the hubbub.
     I could barely choke down my sandwich at lunch, and I gave Lori my cookie without even trading. I toyed morosely with the latch of my lunch box while Tiffany prattled on. Melissa glanced at me with concern, but even she could not get a word in edgewise.
     At recess we lined up to play Four Square, as usual, but I could not concentrate. When Tiffany called, “Around the world–movie stars!” I fumbled the ball and said, “Dad.” I looked around. “Okay, I’m out.”
     Melissa took my arm. “Let’s walk,” she said, and Lori came, too. I hoped Tiffany would keep playing with the next girls in line, but she followed along.
     “I have to tell you something,” I blurted out.
     “Ooh, who is your secret heartthrob?” Tiffany rubbed her hands gleefully. I ignored her.
     “I’m moving this summer.”
     “Already?” asked Lori.
     “You just got here,”said Melissa.
     “I know,” I sighed. “My dad is being transferred. He says it is only for a year. I’ll be back for seventh grade.”
     “That’s good. Where are you going?”
     “You’ll never believe it. I don’t,” I said.
     “Siberia?”
     “Timbuktu?”
     “Hollywood?”
     I shook my head. “To the moon.”
     “No way! That’s so cool!” Lori and Melissa looked excited.
     Tiffany had something else on her mind. “You can’t do that. You’ll miss the dance.”
     “What dance?”
     “It’s a school tradition. Every June, the sixth grade has a dance.” She put her hand over her heart, and looked longingly at a boy who was flopping like a fish on the grass. “I’m going to go with Billy.”
     “He already asked you?” Melissa asked incredulously.
     “No, but I’m going to make sure he will.” Tiffany batted her eyelashes, pivoted, and started sliding backward toward the breakdancing boys. “Better practice your moonwalk, Spacey Stacy!”
     Looking at the boys, I could not imagine dancing with any of them. “Maybe leaving the planet is not such a bad idea,” I commented.
     “Can we come, too?” Lori asked wistfully.
     “So, why are you moving to the moon?” asked Melissa.
     “Dad is a linguist. After the moon people were discovered, the government sent him and a couple of other guys to figure out their language. He wrote the book on Lunish, and another to teach them to speak English. There was a picture of him in that movie.”
     “Wow. So why does he need to go again? Is he going to write another book?”
     “No idea. It’s classified.”
     Melissa nodded. Her father worked for the government, too. “Don’t worry. We’ll write and tell you all about Tiffany’s conquests.”
     I rolled my eyes as the bell rang. The boys quit trying their stunts and ran to line up for class. Half of them shouted, “Spacey Stacy!” as they passed.
     “Oh, great. I know what to call my Social Studies essay,” I decided. “‘How Lunar Exploration Ruined My Life.’”

July, 1984
     After school let out, my life was a frenzy of immunizations, passport photos, shopping, and deciding what to pack. Between chores, my mother took me on a series of “last” visits, to the beach, to the Smithsonian, to the farm stand for fresh corn and cantaloupe.
     I was feeling a bit nervous the night before the launch. “Why don’t you take a nice last bath, dear?” my mother suggested in a soothing voice.
     “‘Last bath?’ What do you mean by ‘last?’” I was not soothed.
     “Well, the moon is a desert, so we’re going to have to conserve water.”
     “I can’t go for a year without a bath!”
     “There are . . . other ways to get clean.” Even she sounded a bit doubtful. “Go enjoy a nice bubble bath.”
     I filled the tub as high as possible with steamy water and bubbles, and tried to let my cares soak away. I propped my feet up next to the faucet, and regarded my toes.
     One of them waved at me.
     Surprised, I kept watching, and it happened again. My right pinky toe moved sideways, away from the other toes, and then returned. I didn’t know I could do that. But soon I realized I could move my right pinky toe voluntarily, and my left one, too.
     Was that normal? Could everyone move their toes independently, and I’d never heard about it? Was it one of those weird, inherited traits, like my dad’s forked eyebrow, or my ability to crease my tongue into the shape of a cross? Or was I just a freak of Nature?
     I was going to live on another world, and I didn't even know if I fit into my own. 
     Maybe the moon people would make a movie about me. I could see the title on the marquee: INVASION OF THE MUTANT PREHENSILE-TOED ALIEN SIXTH-GRADER FROM EARTH!
     Awesome.
     I practiced popping bubbles between my toes, until the bath water was as smooth as glass.