Drivers' Ed

A Magpie Tale

Laura, Allan and I waited outside the Industrial Arts building after school.  It was a lovely spring day, and we could have been doing so many other things, like homework, or running in circles with the track team.  But on this fateful day, we had our first practical session of Drivers' Ed. 

Fortunately, we were not waiting for our ill-tempered, rat-faced classroom instructor.  He was suspicious of bright kids like us, who finished our homework before our classmates finished their simulator drills, and turned to more recreational activities.  He would never have put up with our plans.

For we were prepared to combat the stress and tedium that were obviously inherent in three hours of student driving.  We had pen and paper ready for composing poetry.  I think we'd brought some snacks, too, and Laura always had a deck of cards ready for a round of Speed.

It turned out that Mr. P., an elementary school teacher who ran driving practice on the side (you could NOT pay me enough to do that), wasn't too keen on our diversions, either.  He thought we should be learning from each other's mistakes, not politely overlooking them, or rhapsodizing on the theme.  But you can't keep a good nerd from taking notes in poetic form.  Here are a few of our Highway Haiku:

Finally we drive
Car has a big yellow sign
Hope we do not crash
                             -T

Allan is nervous

This is his first time to drive

"No more gas, Allan!"

                             -T

Mr. P. is nervous
Safety belts are on, of course
Oh no!  Watch out, please!!!
                             -L

Zoom around the curve

We stay in the parking lot

No one to hit here

                             -T

I am sure he'd find
something or someone to hit
"NO MORE GAS, ALLAN!"
                             -L

Those in the street

gaze with wonder at the car

jerking 'round the lot

                             -L

Buddy Holly sings
on the "oldies" radio
Groovy music, yeah!
                            -T

Mr. P. looks

groovy with those glasses on

as the singer twangs

                             -L

He'll earn his money
Others drive illegally
before it's their turn
                           -T

Without the promise

about a fatter paycheck

he would have stayed home

                           -L

He will never know
just what all these "hi-Qs" say
Prob'ly just as well
                           -T

I am so thirsty

and my bangs are in my eyes

It's too hot in here

                           -L

A tree hits Allan
This is so embarrassing
Trees should never drive
                           -T


Note:  No actual trees were harmed in the writing of these poems.  Well, besides the one that gave its life to become college-ruled notebook paper in those pre-recycling days.  Never mind.