Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Drivers' Ed

Laura, Allan and I waited outside the Industrial Arts building after school.  It was a lovely spring day, and we could have been doing so many other things, like homework, or running in circles with the track team.  But on this fateful day, we had our first practical session of Drivers' Ed. 

Fortunately, we were not waiting for our ill-tempered, rat-faced classroom instructor.  He was suspicious of bright kids like us, who finished our homework before our classmates finished their simulator drills, and turned to more recreational activities.  He would never have put up with our plans.

For we were prepared to combat the stress and tedium that were obviously inherent in three hours of student driving.  We had pen and paper ready for composing poetry.  I think we'd brought some snacks, too, and Laura always had a deck of cards ready for a round of Speed.

It turned out that Mr. P., an elementary school teacher who ran driving practice on the side (you could NOT pay me enough to do that), wasn't too keen on our diversions, either.  He thought we should be learning from each other's mistakes, not politely overlooking them, or rhapsodizing on the theme.  But you can't keep a good nerd from taking notes in poetic form.  Here are a few of our Highway Haiku:

Finally we drive
Car has a big yellow sign
Hope we do not crash

Allan is nervous
This is his first time to drive
"No more gas, Allan!"

Mr. P. is nervous
Safety belts are on, of course
Oh no!  Watch out, please!!!

Zoom around the curve
We stay in the parking lot
No one to hit here

I am sure he'd find
something or someone to hit

Those in the street
gaze with wonder at the car
jerking 'round the lot

Buddy Holly sings
on the "oldies" radio
Groovy music, yeah!

Mr. P. looks
groovy with those glasses on
as the singer twangs

He'll earn his money
Others drive illegally
before it's their turn

Without the promise
about a fatter paycheck
he would have stayed home

He will never know
just what all these "hi-Qs" say
Prob'ly just as well

I am so thirsty
and my bangs are in my eyes
It's too hot in here

A tree hits Allan
This is so embarrassing
Trees should never drive

Note:  No actual trees were harmed in the writing of these poems.  Well, besides the one that gave its life to become college-ruled notebook paper in those pre-recycling days.  Never mind.