Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Dogslist

Photo by Terri Windling

For Sale > Collars
     Shiny yellow collar with human commercial logo all over it.  Worn once.  Not my style.  Must go soon--puppies will be teething in no time.
  
Housing > Swap
    Need a change of scene?  Cozy one-room doghouse with a great view.  Fenced yard for privacy; good soil for digging your own entrance.  Neighbors keep garbage bins well-stocked.  Available for rent, or will consider a swap with your house.

Jobs > Salons > Stylist Wanted
    Cushion available for experienced stylist.  Skills in pedicure, shampoo, male and female grooming a must.  Experience with styles for poodle and wire hair fox terrier a plus.  Trot around with portfolio to apply.

Lost & Found > Lost Ball
    Lost favorite fuzzy, jingly ball.  Last seen on golf course.  Reward: golf ball I picked up instead.

Musicians > Auditions
    A capella group seeks bass woofer for frequent moonlight gigs.  Our pack performs popular covers and original tunes.  Bring prepared piece, and be ready to improvise. 

Personals > Female Seeking Male
    Slender blonde likes chasing pine cones, getting caught in the rain.  Seeks blue-eyed Husky stud.  I want to have your puppies!
 
Lessons & Tutoring > Etiquette
    Afraid to go out?  Tired of being embarrassed in public?  Learn confidence from our experienced teachers.  In our Basic course, we will help you teach your human to:
  • shake your paw
  • throw a stick properly
  • behave well at the park 
  • respond quickly to commands such as "open the door" and "go for a walk"
    We also offer Advanced courses (dogs only, please) such as
  • The Language of Tails
  • Vocal Training--get the most out of your growls, barks, and howls
  • Appropriate Gift Selection--for canine and human friends
Services > Limousine
    Cruise in style with a dozen of your closest friends!  Durable leather seats, cozy carpet, and five pairs of fully-opening windows for your panting pleasure!  All rides include complimentary spring water and gourmet biscuits.


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